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As many men do when they reach his age, he began to ask himself, "Is this all there is?

His paternal grandfather was a wealthy sporting-goods manufacturer from Long Island.

His father was a talented violinist who chucked it all in the early 1970s to join a commune upstate.

One week from today, Snctm will hold its regular Masquerade, an exclusive monthly event with the guest list limited to ninety-nine people. The atmosphere is reminiscent of the erotic party scenes in Stanley Kubrick's Among those already confirmed for next Saturday's soiree are a man who owns hotels in New York, a billionaire from Moscow, several wealthy couples who have each been married for more than twenty years, the producer of a number of well-known television shows, an actress with a respectable IMDb page, the twenty-one-year-old son of a movie producer, a number of international models, and a couple who are opening a big new store near Rodeo Drive.

When Lawner founded Snctm, he envisioned something more intimate than previous incarnations of swingers' clubs.

From Plato's Retreat, the disco-era den of iniquity in New York, to Paris's thriving and swanky Les Chandelles, the more notable spots over the years have been known for unfettered debauchery.

A child of hippies who spent his earliest years in a commune in upstate New York, Lawner has tried to create "a spiritual and erotic utopia" where people of like minds and desires can have as much sex and romance as humanly possible, in as many different ways as the imagination can invent, with the most beautiful and engaging people they can find. At the moment, Lawner is using a custom phone app to screen applications for the Masquerade.

His mother, Melissa Rome Lawner, took up with a Jim Morrison look-alike who made leather clothes; to make ends meet, she received food stamps. When we wanted breakfast, we'd go across to the neighbors'.

"We went back and forth between these two crazy households," Lawner recalls. They always had cereal and toast."Every summer, Lawner says, he and his sister were packed off to the grandparents back east.

There are still a few more slots open for women, who can apply to attend for free.

Sitting beside him, in a matching wicker chair, a dark beauty sips Champagne. Tall and impossibly thin, with huge brown eyes, she has recently earned a degree from a college in Texas.

As Snctm has become more successful, as Lawner's life has been transformed, the tear has become instead a bittersweet reminder.

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