Godly dating boundaries

Despite over a decade of prayer, a proper attitude toward the commitment and responsibility of marriage, and realistic expectations, it just hasn’t happened. But, at the same time, in this long season of singleness, I’ve had a lot of time to think and pray about these things.

godly dating boundaries-9godly dating boundaries-29

I’m that girl who reads almost every relationship book on the Christian market. I’m that girl who loves Jesus, and fervently desires to get married, have children, and continue to serve in ministry for the rest of my days.

But these good, God-honoring desires have been, by and large, unfulfilled. At times, I’ve felt overlooked and like I was missing out on all the fun of dating.

Don’t commit to praying for hours on end with someone you’ve just met.

Prayer is a time of exposing your heart and getting emotionally naked before the Lord. It’s vital to pray about your relationship and to seek God’s voice for direction, but make sure you wait before you seek it together.

It’s important to hold on tight to the things that matter to you until you know that you can trust someone.

Don’t be too quick to share your life story, your every thought, or your deepest secrets.

Some highlights of the book for me were the sections that addressed the importance of a solid base of friendship in dating relationships, the warnings of premature commitment and over-involvement (in other words, “too much, too fast”), and the admonishment to live out relationships in the context of community, as opposed to isolation.

I also liked that the authors addressed respect and disrespect thoroughly, as how we treat one another, confront one another, value one another’s experiences, and listen to one another’s opinions are key to any healthy relationship.

Cloud and Townsend speak to the most common relationship challenges, provide responsible advice, and encourage good parameters that we need for all relationships, romantic or otherwise.

Simply put, my fellow Christian singles, let’s learn all we can and figure out this healthy dating stuff now so that we too will be able to start marriage right…even if it takes some struggling and wrestling, a few tears, maybe a few years, and perhaps even some book tossing and retrieving!

), or if it’s better to wait until a man—my man— pursues me with the intention of marriage. I’ve realized by personal experience and by observing the dating (or non-dating) lives of the Christian adults around me that many of us are relationally stunted. We don’t know how to date, because we’ve never done it or we’ve never done it right. From the very first chapter, the authors set up the premise that they are, in some ways, addressing the “kiss dating good-bye” approach promoted just a couple years before was released in the year 2000.

Tags: , ,