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If both people are playing by the same dating rules, sex can serve as the gateway to a consensual, committed relationship.
"My advice is this: wait as long as you can," Allen says.
Her rationale for these dating rules may seem obvious, but many people tend to forget in the heat of the moment.
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"It becomes much more difficult to objectively see each other's character traits" says Susanne Alexander, a relationship coach and author of Can We Dance? "Some couples then slide into engagement and marriage only to discover they have missed seeing major aspects of each other." While not every dating scenario that involves sex leads to marriage or even a serious relationship, couples do owe it to themselves to talk about where they see their relationship going and how sex might change the relationship -- before they get in bed together. The woman may assume sex implies a commitment; the man may not see it that way," Allen tells Web MD.
Having an honest conversation with yourself about sex is just as important as discussing it with your partner, experts say.According to the singles whom Allen has encountered, boomers generally play by far different dating rules than young, 20-something daters."I spoke with a young man in his early to mid-20s who told me that if he didn't have sex on the first or second night, he'd move on to the next person," she recalls.Plus, not having adequately prepared for these practical aspects of sex may signal an overall non-readiness to engage in it.At some point during their courtship, many dating couples decide its time to break down initial boundaries -- be they emotional, physical, or both -- and engage in a sexual relationship."Make sure your brain, heart, and penis are in conjunction -- they should all be in a straight line before you have sex," she says.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating