First question to ask on a dating site

No worries; you don’t need to remember all of them! You can also use one of these questions in your email correspondence.

These questions come from dating coach/matchmaker Rachel Greenwald’s, “Have Him at Hello: Confessions from 1,000 Guys About What Makes Them Fall in Love…or Never Call Back” (© Random House 2008).

I’d like to help you out before that next big dinner or coffee by offering some creative first date questions you can use if you need to stir up conversation.

Also, if anything out of the ordinary has happened that might be affecting your date’s mood, it’s good to factor this in. Also, it’s nice to give your date an opportunity to answer a question that isn't directly about them.

On a first date go for a friendly tone rather than an intimate tone when asking this question. Don’t be afraid to change plans if you arrive at a restaurant and find it’s too noisy for a good conversation.

We’re wired so that once we start to develop an emotional attachment this is hard to break away from. Why: Different vacation preferences or amounts of vacation time can be a major source of ongoing incompatibility. Why: This question helps establish if your date has a positive or negative attitude? Why: Helps you find out the person's preferences and also helps you establish if the person has any free time or if they're a workaholic.

Find out early if there are reasons that “making it work” will be fraught. Select a few of these questions rather than attempt to ask them all on the same first date! For example, if one person likes to take very long trips and the other person has a more standard two weeks vacation time. If asking this question leads to five solid minutes of them complaining you'll know the person sees the glass as half empty. Why: When you enter a relationship with someone you’re also entering a relationship with their friends. Why: If one of you doesn't like pets and the other has 3 dogs, that's likely to be a problem.

Why: Do they spend a lot of money or time collecting something? The answers to the above questions aren't necessarily deal breakers.

If you try to be too careful with what you say, this is likely to backfire.

What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in elementary school? If your house was on fire, what’s the first thing you’d grab to save?

When you were little, what did you dream of being when you grew up?

Also, don’t assume you’re the only one who should ask questions…allow your date to ask questions as well!

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